As soon as the weather starts to cool down and the leaves start to change I get butterflies as the nostalgia kicks in from the beginning of Peyton and I’s relationship. My butterflies and emotions are so strong today that I just had to write this blog post for you all and share our little love story so far. Enjoy some throwback pictures along the way.
I met Peyton in my Drama class my sophomore year and his junior year. EVERYONE in our drama class was smitten over him (due to the fact there were very few guys in our class haha and of course the fact that Peyton is sooo handsome). At the time I had a small crush on him but didn’t tell many people. We ended up getting super close that year and by my Junior year I was calling him my best friend. We would Skype with our other friends almost every single night but usually we were the last two on chatting into the night. We were really close but we mostly would talk and hang out with our friend group at the time. Apparently EVERYONE saw that Peyton and I had a spark but us. We were just friends, I was just chilling until Peyt started talking to a girl in our drama class. That’s when my feelings HIT ME LIKE A BRICK TO THE FACE. My heart broke (not to be dramatic).
Only one person besides my mom knew how I felt and that was our mutual friend Bryan. Major shoutout to him for dealing with my crazy emotions that I had at the time. It always sucks to find out that you like someone once they’re taken. But this didn’t stop Peyton and I from being great friends.
^This is the first picture we ever took together haha!
As time moved on I couldn’t hide my feelings from Peyton anymore so one night when we were chatting on Skype I was like “Hey I need to tell you something” and he was like “What?” and I responded “I have a small crush on you” (it wasn’t small) and he was like “that’s super sweet but I’m talking to someone right now” and I said “I know I just wanted to tell you” and we continued on being good friends. Seriously we acted like NOTHING happened, but I just wanted him to know. I wasn’t trying to break them up because that would be so rude, but it always feels good to tell someone you care for them and Peyt said it was super nice to hear.
He dated the girl from our class for around a month, she ended up having to leave our high school and after that they slowly grew apart and thought it was best to end things. Now I wasn’t like “Now’s my chance” and slid into his dm’s, I’m not that kinda girl. I was there for him if he wanted to talk about things and I wanted to just be his friend. So we kept things as just friends until one night I got a super long message from him on Skype saying that he didn’t want to be my friend because he liked me more than that. MY HEART MELTED. I remember when he sent it we were on Skype with our other friend and I silently squealed and messaged my mom and she bursted into my room and shouted “WHAT”. I had to hang up and fill her in on the situation haha. I wish I still had this message saved and I’ve tried to find it but I couldn’t…it was so sweet though.
We decided to keep our “talking” stage on the down low because it was so new to the both of us and we didn’t know if we were better off friends or not. We went on as being friends but outside of school and our group, we would have little dates at the bookstore (our favorite place), Target, and the mall. It wasn’t about going somewhere super cute and fun, we just loved hanging out and talking to each other.
Fun Fact: On one of these dates (I don’t know how) but I started talking about my dream wedding and…he didn’t run away. This should have been my sign that he was super into me. I still to this day cannot believe he was so chill about this. I get embarrassed just talking about it.
A lot of people began to ask questions and wonder if we were dating and I kinda just shrugged them off and was like we’re just friends (lies we totally weren’t). It wasn’t until my birthday when everyone found out that we were maybe more than just friends. Before Peyton and I wouldn’t be attached to the hip at group hang outs but at my birthday party we were always standing with each other and apparently we were being a little flirty when we thought no one was paying attention. It also didn’t help our secret relationship that he got me such a thoughtful gift that SHOWED how much he knew me. It was a “Fault in our Stars” record because at that time it was one of my favorite movies/books and Shailene Woodley is one of my favorite actors. It was also full of cute love songs and had my favorite song “Wait” by M83 on it. I have yet to top this gift with him, it was so thoughtful.
…This was also the night he kissed me which is a HILARIOUS story but Peyton always demands that he tells it himself so let me know if you guys want me to upload a quick Instagram TV video about it.
Peyt didn’t make things official until January 1st, 2016. I could not stop smiling when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wanted to shout it to the world. I was so head over heels for this boy. If I could have reached up into the night sky and given him all of the stars I would have.
After this we just tumbled in love.
I knew I was in love with him the night of his mom’s wedding which was sometime in January…I know super early on. We didn’t say I love you until February 15th, he said it first and I of course said it back to him. With Peyton nothing ever scared me. We were best friends before we started dating and since. He was the first person I ever said this to that wasn’t family or a friend and it was so much easier than I imagined it would be. Love is such a scary and powerful emotion but he made it so easy to feel.
After that we just got closer and spent every moment together. Here are some pictures of us that I love.
Peyton and I are still very much so in love with each other (obviously this would be very awk if we weren’t). We have definitely had our relationship struggles, especially during the period of time where I was really struggling with my self love and mental health. He was so supportive during that time and did his best to make me feel beautiful but it wasn’t something he could fix. I had to fix it myself. This is super important to anyone struggling with a personal issue, your significant other can’t fix you, they can be supportive and help you but ultimately you have to fix yourself. You can’t rely on the love of someone else, you HAVE to love yourself too.
I am so happy to say that I am in love with my best friend. January 1st will mark three years for us and that is so crazy to me. We’ve grown up together and learned so much through the years. I cannot wait for our future adventures and want to start sharing more about us on my blog.
Without the Stars
I hate that there was a time I didn’t know him.
It feels like a time without the stars
or the sun.
Because he is my universe.
Every time we kiss it feels like there is a supernova exploding inside of me.
My skin is the sands of the moon
and I am imprinted with his finger prints,
and his unconditional
I wrote this poem for Peyton awhile ago. As you guys probably know by now, I love symbolism and the universe is one of the most beautiful things to write about, oh and of course Peyton <3
I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post 🙂
Always remember to Love Who You Are <3
I love you to the moon and back Peyt.